In the Beginning

Me in April 2014

Every story has a beginning, though unfortunately, my journey does not have a clear beginning. In mid-July, I was at the best form of my life at almost age 56, with a lean weight of 172 (had been 254 in mid-2014). I did a chin-up for the first time in my life. And I was proud (in a good way) of my successes physically, though my life change also included taking better care of myself in every aspect of life.

About that time, I started having lower back pains/issues and I could not figure out what I could have done to cause it. Like so many other people who sometimes suffer from low back pain, tried to seek relief. I did the things that I could do in Ukraine (massage with a little "chiropractic" adjustment, ibuprofen, etc.). Nothing seemed to help. Meanwhile, life and ministry continued. I led my cell groups, preached, met with people, even played ping pong with a friend - all with a sore lower back.

July 18-23, I was at a camp in another city where we slept in tents. With me, I had four of my young friends from Krivoy Rog. Because of coronavirus, this group could not find a nicer place to hold camp, so they chose the tent option. It actually was great and God blessed me with a nice firm air mattress. And the camp was phenomenal - God moved and students were saved, filled with the Holy Spirit, and changed by the power of God. The guys with me were definitely changed. It was a first for me - because everything I did publicly (preaching one evening, sharing a 10-minute Word in the morning, and monologue of the Apostle Paul), I did in Russian alone and without a translator. While it was not perfect, it went well.

But getting in and out of a low tent with my back was very difficult. The students and leaders prayed for me, and we all believed that God could heal me right then and there. But for some reason, He did not. We headed back home, full of God, and ready to change the world.

Through July 30th, I continued doing what I do. Met with my guys, swam in the quarry, preached, led my cell groups - and tried to doctor my lower back. Even stopped going to the gym to give it a break, which was really hard for me. I have learned the importance of taking care of my body - which is how I dropped all that weight.

On the 29th of July, I had what turned out to be my last cell group of the summer. We read the words of King David from Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT), "23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

I told the guys that we needed to pray that prayer, although I knew that it would be a difficult prayer because God would answer it. And He has done just that. Most of my guys have been tested greatly, even without my illness. And I know that I am in the center of His will, even now, being tested. Denise and I both have great peace!

When I told Denise, I learned that she had been praying a similar, dangerous prayer, regarding some other needs very close to our hearts. We have no regrets for praying these things, because we KNOW that God is going to receive the glory through all of this!

From the 31st to August 3rd, I ministered alongside a pastor friend in Kiev.  He is a go-getter big time - and seems to have energy to spare. And his love for God and people is very contagious. We had such a great time together - except for the fact that my lower back continued to drive me crazy.  I was starting to wonder what was up, as my lower back issues usually cleared up within a week or so when I did good stretches. This time was different.

Back home and I immediately left for another town and youth camp from the 4th to the 6th - again in tents - with two young men that I had become acquainted with at a church a few weeks earlier. They had just a great time there and one, a young man who fell from a tree five years ago and walks with a limp because of a botched operation, put us all to shame and worked hard keeping the fire going and helping the cook prepare the food for us to eat. His handicap did not stop him. Not even close. What an inspiration!  I preached twice there, but the young people, from about three different churches, were not very receptive. That is God's department, as I was obedient to preach what He told me to preach.

Before we left, my friend with a limp asked if there would be a toilet there. It is hard for him to use just a hole in the ground - and I realized that for me this would be a nightmare as well. The leader said there would be, but when we arrived, there was just a hole in the ground. Not sure how hole = toilet, but in his mind it did. Long story short, I had to find a place with a tree to help me do my business. I tried to squat one day and I thought my body would never recover. Sorry if that is TMI, but that is the reality of life sometimes.

While I was there, my legs started swelling up. This was something that I have never experienced before. I thought maybe it was because I was eating foods that were saltier than I was used to. Or maybe I had too much sun. Or even perhaps I had been sitting too much because of my lower back. All I know is that I knew that something strange was going on in my body.

Now this is where, every once in a while, Phil's schedule gets a little crazy. In the town where we held the first camp in July, I have quite a few friends. Two new friends are twins, and their birthdays are August 10th, while mine is the 12th. One of the brothers wanted to celebrate our birthdays together. Because of the quarantine that is still partially ongoing in Ukraine, the train is still not running between their city and mine. So I decided that I could go to them because I have a car.

One challenge is this - when I travel somewhere over the weekend, the local pastors want me to preach in their churches. So I knew that this would not be just a "social" weekend. I contacted one pastor about preaching in his Saturday service (in one city) and he begged me to also preach in his Sunday service (in another city).  And I cannot be there with preaching at the youth service in the main church there.

So August 7th, sorer back and all, I headed back to this city for a water baptism for one twin on Saturday, to preach Saturday and Sunday (twice). Everything I did, I sat. Tried so hard to preach standing up, but only lasted about 10 minutes. However, my weakness did not stop God from moving. God anointed me and gave me extra strength, in spite of my very physical limitations.

My friends and his wife were so sweet and took such good care of me during my visit there. I felt like such a burden, but they would not allow me to use that term. But our time and fellowship was so sweet. They have a cat that I am sure is demon possessed (though our pastor thinks that all cats are born like this). It would use the litter box about 4 AM and tear through the apartment bouncing off walls in excitement. And my friend slept right through it all. I thought it was absolutely insane and would not have tolerated that in my home.

On Monday the 10th, we headed to go camping for one night. A group of friends surprised us and joined us - and one of them was the twin that somehow got off work so that he could join us. It was so fun and such a blessed time just relaxing with good friends. They cooked meat over the fire, we had sweets, gave me gifts, and I felt very loved. But through all this time, but back was making me crazy. I had to sit on a tallish stump up next to a tree, so I could just exist. When I had to walk to the outhouse (which was a squatty potty), it was such torture for me.  And, oh please Lord, I do not want to deal with a having a BM there.

In the morning before we went camping, we went to see a guy that my friend's father knew. He was kind of like a chiropractor and yet far from one. He worked on my lower back, was very gruff and a little mean, and wanted me to return Wednesday AM. The problem with that was that my birthday was Wednesday and I had planned to be back Tuesday night so that I could bake a delicious chocolate cake (from scratch!) for my cell group on Wednesday evening.  And because it was not a very pleasant experience (I do not like being yelled at to "stand up" when my lower back is having a spasm and I cannot stand up), I decided not to wait around for Wednesday morning.

But I did know another guys in that city that the pastor had recommended to me before. He does a bit of massage and chiropractic adjustment. This man worked me over good - and actually I felt some relief. He immediately addressed the lymph nodes, especially in my lower right groin, as an issue that I needed to have taken care of. Interesting, I thought.

After that evening visit to him, I headed to say goodbye to my friends and drove home - thankful for some lower back relief, grateful for the great time I had had with friends, and thrilled with all that God had done over the weekend. I arrived home after 11 PM Tuesday, August 11th tired and ready for bed. But what lie ahead was nothing close to what I could even have imagined. Really.