Iowa City Hospital Stay #1 - Part 2 - Chemo Round #1 - September 23-28

When I arrived to the room in the cancer unit the evening of the 23rd, I learned that this was a temporary location. I thought that was strange, because it seemed that they would have been ready for me. They told me that they are remodeling all the rooms one at a time, and my new roommate and I would soon be moving to a newly remodeled room. That sounded good to me. About 40 minutes later, I was settled in my spot for chemotherapy round #1. No window. But that is OK! I was thankful for all the comforts that I did have, especially in comparison to my experience in the hospital in Krivoy Rog! And I finally got the shower that I had been waiting for all day.

My first roommate in my new unit only lasted one night. The rest of the time I had a roommate that was in his late 60s and had come here after a botched surgery in another hospital. We talked a lot through the curtain. He was very pleasant and likeable, but had lots of physical pain. I called the nurse's station for him when he could not and tried to look out for him, advocated for him, shared with nurses and doctors what I was seeing and hearing, and encouraged him to follow the doctor's advice. I think he missed me when I went home.

So here I am, preparing to start this experience of chemotherapy. The biggest question in my mind is this - how sick is this process going to make me?  Basically I will be getting 88 straight hours of one chemotherapy, along with other chemo that will be added to the basic cocktail. One thing I knew with complete confidence, no matter how well (or not) my body received the chemo, God would be with me and would be taking care of me!

I started chemo about 5 PM on Thursday the 24th. The many hours of one chemotherapy was broken into four bags that lasted 22 hours each. The IV drip was slow and steady. There are other pills and medications that they give you throughout this process, including anti-nausea medication (what a blessing those are!). I am so thankful that throughout the entire time, I had no adverse side effects. The doctors and nurses were somewhat amazed by that. Thank God!

In case you were wondering, it is difficult enough to take a shower when you are weak, but it is even more challenging an IV tube attached to one arm. I tried that one evening and it really was more work than it was worth. One nurse had mercy on me another evening and gave me 30 minutes to take a shower untethered to the IV machine. That was really nice.

Part of the chemo is steroids, which they started giving me intravenously before chemo, but during chemo it was pill form - 130 mg of prednisone two times a day. Believe me when I tell you that you this - you normally do not want to take that much prednisone (even just 40 mg per day has side effects no one likes), but you do what you have to do. That meant every night sleeping from about 11:30 PM to 4 AM (with a sleeping pill). It is hard to sleep longer when there are vitals checks and blood draws on both ends. And then I am wired for the day.

I was thinking one day in the hospital about how Denise and I would be living with her parents, primarily in their basement, while I go through treatments and recovery. She really wanted them to downsize and buy a smaller home when they moved from Sioux Falls to Iowa City in 2014. And I remember how frustrated she was that they did not do that. However, tears came to my eyes when I realized that God knew that we would need a place to stay in 2020, and He was preparing a place for us even then. God always provides for HIS children - in His time, in His way, but He always provides. And we are thankful!

Here are some pictures of me from Saturday the 26th.

Both arms were very black and blue

I definitely need a shave!

It seems that I have lost some muscle tone

On Sunday the 27th, I got to have an additional bag of chemo. This one I called "the balding drug", because it is the one that will cause me to lose my hair.

The chemical that causes hair loss

When you are in the hospital for extended periods, and when you are feeling okay, it provides lots of opportunity for chatting with friends who are not with you physically. My dear high school friend, Roberta, and I had many good chats during this time. She is like family and ours has always been just a good friendship. Over the years we have had many good discussions, but especially lately, and there are God-moments interspersed throughout our conversations. Her relationship with God is strong, and she hears from Him regularly. She knew years ago that I would be a missionary someday, and she had the wisdom to know NOT to share that with me.

That evening, we had one of those conversations. I shared with her about the grief process that we are going through because of all of this. If there is loss, there must be some grief. We miss Ukraine and our friends there so much. I miss being with my "guys", leading my cell groups, and preaching in churches. There were plans to help a new church start that I had to leave behind. Basically, I recognized that I was homesick for Ukraine. And that is a good and normal thing. Knowing that I weighed 172 pounds in July and now am over 220 because of cancer is another hard loss. And the list goes on.

Then she said - "No regrets. You needed to come here to keep going."

My answer - "We have absolutely no regrets. But losses, yes. And I'm going to give it all I've got, so I can go with all I've got again."

If it were just me, I probably would have missed the significance of that statement. But not Roberta. She responded - "I love the way you worded that. Hold onto it. Write it down. Live it. Journal it. Reevaluate whether you are doing it as time passes."

And we both realized that we had just enjoyed a very profound God-moment in both of our lives. It reminded me how easy it is to miss the little things that God does. I am so thankful for godly friends who help us not miss such moments.

Here it is again.

"And I'm going to give it all I've got, so I can go with all I've got again."

That is my heart, my desire. And I believe that it was straight from God for me to hang on to during this process. He is going to help me do just that!

My uncle Larry has become another dear friend and confidant of mine. I will not go into his story (because that is his story to share), other than to say that he was away from God for a long time, but God brought the lost sheep back to the fold. And he is one of the best intercessors in prayer that we have. He is faithful to hold us and our ministry up in prayer daily. We have a deep relationship with each other and our relationship with God is similar in many ways, and yet so different.

When I shared with him what Roberta and I had just shared together, I was confident that he would respond with excitement. And that he did. He encouraged me to do what she said and to realize that there will be a testing if it is going to produce growth, maturity, and usefulness. And I thought back to the prayer at cell group when we asked God to test us.

That night as I got ready for bed, I just raised my hands to God in worship, thanking Him and praising Him for His help and strength during this time, for His faithful presence and peace, and for His undeserved, reckless love with which He chases me down. I also was grateful that my roommate was sleeping peacefully following a successful procedure earlier in the day, and his snoring was such sweet music to my ears.

Thankfully, finished all the way through Monday morning without noticeable side effects. God was gracious to me while I was in the hospital, and we were amazed at how well everything went. And oh, so grateful! Naturally, I hoped that this would continue once I got home, while the chemo did the work it needed to do in my body. Time will tell.